Wednesday, March 31, 2010

mixed.feeling

nowadays keep blaming myself.. is it really my fault that i feel like tat towards others?? its not that i look down on them.. but i feel tat they jux dun appreciate the opportunity tat others gv them... do they think tat the opportunity will alwiz be there?? u may be the best today.. but u nvr noe wat will happen by tomoro.. or even in the nxt hr... they thought we will protect them forever.. but they hv forgotten tat we are human too.. we hv feelings.. n feelings will change... sometimes positive but there are times tat it bcomes negative... this is life.. we jux hv to suck it all in and accept the truth.. there are all kinds of ppl surrounding us every single day.. and we muz try our best to adapt into everythg we do.. if we dont.. then there is no way we can do anythg after our scool life..


ACCEPTING LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS...

Saturday, March 27, 2010

happy.satisfied

today is quite a happy day for me. first of all.. its ma'birthday! woohoo~ i'm officially 17.. XD wanna learn many new things for this yr of mine.. 1st of all, i wanna learn how to play the guitar. i noe i hv been sayin this for a long time.. but i think its time for me to take action n not wait for my parents.... 2ndly, i wanna learn how to drive.. sigh~~~~ sadly, my parents dun encourage me to take + they dun hv the funds to let me learn.. too baaaddd =( but its ok, i can ask them to be my driver for another yr or so.. lol.. 3rd, i wanna practice selfcontrol!! this is a prob i hv been hvin for a long long long long long....time and i wanna get i done b4 i take my spm!! its a vry serious prob, and i'm stubborn.. so good luck to me.. yikes! 4th, i wanna excel in everythg i do. victor gu told us tat his father told him somethg tat he's gonna rmbr it for his life.. n i plan to do so too.. "in everythg u do, u muz be the best. even if ur work is collectin rubbish, u would wan to aim to be the cleanest, the fastest, the best rubbish collector among ur peers, or even aim bigger and aim for the country or the world" i think these words are so inspiring tat it really hlps us to push our boundaries and not be stuck in our shell forever.. hope i can put this in my head wenever i start to slow down or laze.. =)

BE THE BEST AND MORE THAT YOU MAY BE.. YOU ARE BETTER THAN WHAT YOU ARE NOW...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

too many.unsolved questions

today after wake up frm afternoon nap rciv 2 msgs.. js and ko.. haiz.. ko's msg normal lo.. ntg shock.. haha.. js's msg i a bit shock lo.. it said tomoro is my turn duty.. OMG!!! i plan to go ikea wif samsiah n polar n ko tomoro man! how!! 1st reaction to js.. can i find ppl ganti.. LOL.. coz i really really really wanted to go wif them.. but i dun wan to disappoint ym and gl.. wat a dilemma... the other thg is.. who can i find to ganti so tat the other 2 wont feel weird to duty wif.. then i asked js.. she reminded me of sw!! then wen sms her she said can.. a bit shock. duno why.. LOL.. yeah~ can go ikea now.. haha.. feel quite happy go lucky this few days.. and i really duno y.. its jux weird hving this process called 'knowing urself better n better'.. hope i can be a better person through this process.. but the prob is......i noe all my weakness, i jux dont noe how to control myself frm doing all these thgs.. guess its ady a habit.. someone once told me tat to make somethg a habit, jux do that thg consciously for 2 weeks.. then for the following week, u will probably be self consciously doing it.. maybe i could try that.. LOL..

STRUGGLING TO FIND MYSELF......

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

stupid.brainless

sigh~~ is it our fault? or is it jux them being too stupid? why cant they think for themselves. is it tat hard to use ur brain?? jux think for urself!! cant u think? dun u hv ideas?? even those younger than u guys are doing way better than u!! all of u can do many thgs, but u keep asking others to do it out of laziness and other factors.. but dun u noe tat if u keep asking others to do it, u will oni make urself worse and worse?? u cant improve urself, u cant learn anythg new, and most importantly, ppl will think u r rubbish. as tat is wat i think of u guys now.. total rubbish. a leader tat doesnt noe how to lead, a follower tat doesnt noe how to follow, and a person tat has no idea is no better than a block of wood with hand carved hands and legs. the block of wood would probably be more productive than u!! wen can u all improve urself? wen can u all change ur stupid idiotic fucking brainless attitude?? hope the thg i wanna do nxt will hlp all of u to wake up.. if it doesnt, i think i will give up and leave u guys to die....

HOPE ITS NOT TOO LATE FOR THOSE BASTERDS TO KNOW THAT THEY ARE BEING STUPID.BRAINLESS

Sunday, March 21, 2010

confused

wth has happen to me?? i used to be so hardworking.. see my goals clearly.. trying my best and finding all kinds of way jux to achieve it.. ever since i get to go online at home.. its like a disease to me.. going online, tats wat i do every single day.. din online jux one day then start to feel uncomfortable.. wtf man.. should i ask my parents to cut off the line till weekends only?? coz i feel tat i cant control myself.. i nid to practice self control again as it is SPM this yr man.. no more playing.. its really really really HAPPENING!!! every single day i tell myself tat i hv a lot of time left.. tomoro there will be another 24 hrs waiting for me.. but i noe for a fact tat every tomoro i will hv a busy day.. and i will hv more n more wrk to do and the end.. so wat's happen to me.. can i not control myself?? my parents sent me to so many of these courses and camps.. jux to let me learn the ways to concentrate, ways to be a better person, ways to use my time the max, be a leader not a follower and many more.. but wat hv i done! all the knowledge i hv.. but wen do i apply it!!!! moral folio... why the hell i wait till now oni do!! fucking SPM!! why the hell malaysian education system hv to be like tat.. dun they noe tat the more they apply tis kind of system, more n more students will jux wanna rebel and hate the country??!! grrr... jux hv to work hard now.. no other choice..

SAD AND ANGRY OF MYSELF... ;(

Saturday, March 13, 2010

future

wat is the meaning of future? isit tomoro? isit the nxt hr? the nxt min? or even the nxt second? nobody noes wat the real meaning is... if i enjoy the present, does this mean i dun care bout my future? most of the adults say tat ur future is everythg..if u dun use ur present time wisely, u will regret ur future... but do they really noe wat r we thinking?? they only noe how to complain bout how not perfect we r.. well.. r they perfect in anyway??? shouldnt think bout tis.. its the start of the holidays.. =) muz rmbr to enjoy myself tis week.. XD

MY LIFE MOTTO: ENJOY LIFE WHILE YOU CAN.. YOU DONT KNOW WHEN IS YOUR LAST DAY.