random.mixed.up

so it's been a while since i have written any post here. so i guess today is the day. =x ermm, just and update of my life. i'm into the last stretch of my SPM now. there is 3 more papers for me. and to say the truth, i'm a lil not fond of 2 out of the 3 subjects left. that's sad, aint it? sigh~ but no choice. its life, just face it! what i'm facing these few weeks is kinda mixed up, thus the title.


first thing that came up was the competition. i knew that there was gonna be a competition during the 20th of Dec stretch. but who knew it was on the 20th! that was the main problem. well to explain things, i'm finishing my exams on the 14th, then going for state cadet camp(scc) on the 15th till the 19th. then i'm coming back for my competition. guess now it's clear what my problem is. master even warned me about my timing, saying i better make time for training. 'cuz this is not about myself, just don't wanna frustrate my teammates later. but out of all, i have a good news which is, im get a good team this time. Carmen, Kok Yang, we can do it!!


the second thing that popped out, i mean literally, 'cuz i received an email frm Mdm Audrey concerning the scc. then when i opened it. i was a lil shock. as it stated i was the lead camper for tmn ehsan. that i understand as i was the only 'old' one to go. the other thing was 3 other leaders and i were to be the leader for the performance. that was crazy! how am i going to plan for the performance when i am suppose to study?! but that kinda sorted itself out. so im settle with that problem for now IF they dont turn down the offer that ST proposed.


the third thing that really made me feel like hell was national service (ns). i really prayed hard to be in the first batch like my bro. of course i wanted the first batch as i wouldn't have to waste so much time to wait for my turn for ns. then i saw on fb that many of my peeps got the first batch with the majority going to sabah and sarawak. well, im happy for them, but sometimes i have to be a lil selfish and take care of my heart. i was and still am sad now. but my mum as great as she is, send in an application for me hoping that i can be in the first or the second. hopefully that goes through and truthfully now i would rather be in the second batch. :3


lastly and the most important thing that has been bothering me since last night. my further education and my future career. my mum just told me that if the house gets sold, they would send me to SHML. of course im excited. but one thing that bothers me is when will i get back after i leave? i definitely want to study there, but i will most definitely miss my besties here. studying plus the training there is around 2 years and 5 months. there after hotels are going to offer me jobs(according to Urs). so, when will i get a chance to come home? i cant be turning down job offers and coming back here, cant i? think by the time comes, i'll be discussing this a lot with my parents and family. >.<

so that's it! i really needed it. just some place for me to let out my feelings. i feel like i'm the persona of the poem 'The Road Not Taken'. but no matter what, i will make the right choice. :)

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN by Robert Frost
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.