rewind.please

its the holidays! waited for it since forever and finally its here! well, guess what im doing this hols?? WORK...!!
yes! im gonna work this hols. 1st of all tuition is like everyday of the week. then i have to finish up my mekar work. mekar wont take much of my time, just lots of effort. :p i gotta finish up my essay also. been delaying it forever now. the other thing is my moral folio. have to re-print those photos as the teacher lost my folio.

so yeah! im gonna work my ass of this hols and just gonna go online all day too! would be a boring 2 weeks. and im lucky its halfway pass week1. yikes!

pacing.backwards

sick for the past few days.. fever.flu.cough.sorethroat.... and no.. i do not hv H1N1.. jux common sickness.. finally recovered frm fever.sorethroat.. but flu and cough still around... well thats me... its either im not sick or im seriously sick... getting fedup with it...
my work... getting more and more lazy... wathefuck is wrong with me??!!!!!! its spm year for goodness sake.. cant i jux start doing my work... alwiz saying tat i nid to do tis and tat.. creating excuses for wat??!! jux do it!! stop saying tat im busy or watever... its all shit!!
starting to feel tat others are getting a distance away frm me wen it comes to work wise... well, i dun blame them as im the one who is to be blame... if i could jux get my head together, be as wise as last time.. make my priorities rite.. i think they would eventually come back to me.....


STRUGGLING TO FIND MYSELF......

first.and more to go

i think today is a unlucky day for me...

1st of all, i participated in ehsan idol.. felt quite disappointed.. probably coz i really really memorise the lyrics already.. bt......... sigh~~ maybe its my 1st time n nervous.. dunno and dun wanna think bout it ady.. there's alwiz a 1st in everythg.. at least i tried..

2ndly, bcoz of ehsan idol, i was late for practice and punished 10 times.. sigh~~ nvm.. took as if it was a warm up... then waited there for the commander to stop and let me go in... then suddenly hv ppl ask me go tch 2 of them.. thought i would be easy job.. bt it was not wat i expected~!!!! they were...OMG...undescribable... samelegsamehand, blkgpsingleftleg, walkfaaaaaaast and many more common diseases are all in 1 person.. haiz.. had to use my not so usual skill to teach them.. guide them frm base.. then slowly build their confidence.. then hmmm, better a LOT... the bad thg is........ppl was resting n i had to cont teaching them.. by the time i could stop tching, they asked me to go in.. OMG >.< hvnt had a sip of water since english lesson... so was more tired then usual, throat dry... then had to wait almost 2 hrs b4 i got a drink.. sigh~~~

3rd thing.. went online wen i came home.. started hving headaches.. tried to rest.. couldnt... cont dl-ing valentines day ♥ ts ♥ tl ♥ ja ♥ ak ♥ bc ♥ =D finally dled finish... thought my luck would start changing... then wen i played.. oni hv 59 secs and audio!! @@ OMFG dled 709mb and oni hv 59 sec wat the hell... audio oni wat the fuck... then i did a search and found out tat there's no torrent available currently.. all are fakes.. ='( then went to see youtube for any new shows.. decided to see good luck charlie tat i hv meant to see for a long time.. LOL vry vry funny show!! i recommend it to everyone!!! kiddaussie is da best!! =) saw 1 episode.. the 2nd one, OMG cant bliv it.. loaded till 0.03mins stopped.. and cant load anymore.. shit! torrent working perfectly.. but no connection speed for youtube.. so disappointed again.. went to bathe another time as it is soooooo HOTTTTT!! then wen i came down.. started doing idiotic thgs on the internet coz no connection speed... till tis vry moment of me writing this part of this post of this blog.. my connection is still like shit except for my torrent.. @@

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit."

learn.adapt.improvise

this morning woke up at 5.55am for no obvious reason. cant bliv i woke up this early today, while i cant even wake up at 6.40am on scool days. lol. nvm.. since i woke up, decided to do somethgs to make up for time. started by listening to songs in the morning. really really enjoyed and missed this feeling.
try listening to music at some quiet time of the day, for example early in the morning, late time at nite.. tat is the time wen u actually can hear every beat of the song, every word of the lyrics, even feel the ppl playing the instruments enjoying themselves wen the song was produced. its a really really nice feeling and for all u music lovers out there, tat is the real way to listen to a song, not blasting the radio wen the song is on. XD
umm.. went to kb scool at 7.45am. as expected, i was early again. but luckily as i nid to call a few of them to find out wer the hall is.. @@ after tat.. warm up and practice a few times, then though SL will team wif us. so happy. but the stupid organizers.. haiz 9am oni started the comp, so SL had to go ady. WJ team wif us, me and C actually not vry like it. coz WJ would probably damage our hopes of getting a good result today. sigh~ this is fate. we jux have to face it. so we practice another time then it was time to start. so we went in. then in my opinion we and in fact i did miserably compared to my ind. bt during lunch break, master said i did vry good. O.O i was soooo shocked!! then i started shaking my head. OMG >.<
after lunch break, as informed, we should be collecting our medals. WTF the vip gv to the primary category then went away.. sigh~ all of us complained complained.. but there was ntg to do. so some of those tat couldnt wait went back while the rest of us stayed there. hoping it would be fast. but after a long long long long (and i mean loooonngggg) time, C got scolding many times so she went home 1st. so it was me and SL, SJ, ST, JZ and the small kids left. wow, so sad.
yay~ after another long long long long long time, it was prize giving at last!! i knew my team was getting a medal, bt i din noe which, crossing my fingers to get a silver as my aim of the day was to not let my team down n lose to the state team. at last! got a bronze, bt lost to SJ's and JZ's team. so am satisfied. learnt many thgs today, hope tat can improve on my skills by the end of the year.. =)


DOUBTING YOURSELF IS THE KEY TO FAILURE. FOR SUCCESS, BE CONFIDENT, AS SOMETIMES PEOPLE AREN'T WHO THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE.

mad.angry

tis morning.. din go foot drill practice coz parents dun like it as i'm not home most of the time.. wen i woke up.. its ady 11+am.. LOL.. after tat rcived a msg frm somebody.. walaoeh.. after tat my temperature keep go up and up and up.. then wanna boil.. after tat, recived the no.x... walao.. really boil le.. she say all lo.. sudden say canot like tis for girl team coz state ppl coming for gombak tis time.. then nw can put a cadet to lead a team tat has adult oso la.. wat the fuck!! got diff meh?? wer she put her brain o.. walao.. train small ah.. now not the time lo.. coz not suitable time ma.. ask him bcom higher rank baru cakap la.. haiz.. really boiling and boiling and boiling.. really beh tahan liao.. haiz

SOMETIMES THE THINGS THAT YOU TRUST THE MOST, ARE THE THINGS THAT WILL DISAPPOINT YOU THE MOST.....

mixed.feeling

nowadays keep blaming myself.. is it really my fault that i feel like tat towards others?? its not that i look down on them.. but i feel tat they jux dun appreciate the opportunity tat others gv them... do they think tat the opportunity will alwiz be there?? u may be the best today.. but u nvr noe wat will happen by tomoro.. or even in the nxt hr... they thought we will protect them forever.. but they hv forgotten tat we are human too.. we hv feelings.. n feelings will change... sometimes positive but there are times tat it bcomes negative... this is life.. we jux hv to suck it all in and accept the truth.. there are all kinds of ppl surrounding us every single day.. and we muz try our best to adapt into everythg we do.. if we dont.. then there is no way we can do anythg after our scool life..


ACCEPTING LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS...

happy.satisfied

today is quite a happy day for me. first of all.. its ma'birthday! woohoo~ i'm officially 17.. XD wanna learn many new things for this yr of mine.. 1st of all, i wanna learn how to play the guitar. i noe i hv been sayin this for a long time.. but i think its time for me to take action n not wait for my parents.... 2ndly, i wanna learn how to drive.. sigh~~~~ sadly, my parents dun encourage me to take + they dun hv the funds to let me learn.. too baaaddd =( but its ok, i can ask them to be my driver for another yr or so.. lol.. 3rd, i wanna practice selfcontrol!! this is a prob i hv been hvin for a long long long long long....time and i wanna get i done b4 i take my spm!! its a vry serious prob, and i'm stubborn.. so good luck to me.. yikes! 4th, i wanna excel in everythg i do. victor gu told us tat his father told him somethg tat he's gonna rmbr it for his life.. n i plan to do so too.. "in everythg u do, u muz be the best. even if ur work is collectin rubbish, u would wan to aim to be the cleanest, the fastest, the best rubbish collector among ur peers, or even aim bigger and aim for the country or the world" i think these words are so inspiring tat it really hlps us to push our boundaries and not be stuck in our shell forever.. hope i can put this in my head wenever i start to slow down or laze.. =)

BE THE BEST AND MORE THAT YOU MAY BE.. YOU ARE BETTER THAN WHAT YOU ARE NOW...